A Self-Care Kit for Your Next Depressive Episode - PART DEUX


HANG ON! If you haven't read part one of this article - you can do so RIGHT HERE! 

Bottles of Water – Not only for taking those pills but for staying hydrated. Also, key to making sure your meds get processed through your system properly AND flushing any crap out of your body that may be contributing to your feeling like shit-ness.

Napkins/Tissues/Wet Wipes – I SEE YOU WIPING THAT BOOGER ON THE SIDE OF YOUR MATTRESS. And I’m not going to let you. Not this time. You’re probably going to masturbate too, right? Let’s be real. Not much is going to give you pleasure right now except that. Am I alone here? Also great for tears, spills, eye boogers, and snot.

Shower Wipes – Not just for campers and sweaty mountain bikers. You too can give yourself a makeshift shower without leaving your bed. Just like a taking a real shower, the idea is you’ll end up feeling more like a refreshed, energized human, and less like a crispy little mattress Cheeto.

Sheet Masks, Lotion, Lip Balm, Deodorant – If I’m correct, depression has you all fucked up, right? Might as well moisturize, tone, and brighten while you lay there. Why the fuck not? Just because everything sucks right now doesn’t mean your gorgeous bod has to suffer too. In other news, you’re basically doing more self-care here than I do when I’m regulated.

Colgate Wisps & Floss – The easiest thing to ignore when you’re deep in the Burroughs of emo town are your increasingly fuzz-laden teeth. I truly believe all my cavities stem from depressive episodes where I ignored my oral health. Breaking: Wisps are a literal Godsend. They’re like wee disposable toothbrushes that don’t require water or toothpaste to work. Sold.

Dry Shampoo and Hair Ties – Because right now you’re as greased up as a KY-dipped Hitachi.

Headphones & Earplugs – Whether or not you need to drown out noise or cry to The Smiths on repeat, you’re going to want these by your side.

Sleep Mask – You know when you’re so weighed down by sadness that all you can do is sleep to forget the pain? Dramatic, but accurate. This is your new best friend, especially if you’re doing the whole ‘sleep the day away’ thing.


[Disclaimer time! If you can't bring yourself to make this kit or complete any of these tasks, don't beat yourself up. You're depressed for fux sake! Sometimes your biggest concern is just surviving the day. I get it. Xo]