Therapy Thursday # 7: Smoke That Cig If You Really, REALLY Need To (Maybe)


After a brief holiday/self-care break...IM BACK with a new #TherapyThursday. I swear there are new blog posts on their way as well. Look out for a NEW SERIES too!!! Thanks for your patience as I figure out why every blogger is able to write 300 posts per week and I struggle to write one. I'm going to go ahead and blame it on the fact that many of my posts to come will involve a little bit of research so that I can give you information beyond that of my personal experience. Trust me if I just talked about myself all the time I'd be a fashion blogger posting pictures of my Saint Laurent bags next to acai bowls. Nothing wrong with that journey, it's just not mine (even though someday I hope to get to that level of bloggery). xoxo!

TOPIC: Being Effective aka "Doing What Works"***

WHEN TO USE: When you need to do something (anything!) that will get you closer to your goals.

HOW TO USE: Simply do what you need to do in the situation you are facing. According to my favorite DBT app, DBT Diary Card and Skills Coach, you need to "let go of the way things 'should' be and just do what works for your goal. Play by the rules, even if they are not the 'right' rules or ones that you agree with." If your action will get you to your goal, then it is effective. 

EXAMPLE: In my personal DBT experience, I used this skill in the following way: Let's say I'm in the middle of a hysterical mental breakdown and nothing I do is working to stop it. Even though I was trying to quit smoking at the time, I knew that a cigarette would make me feel better in that moment. I did what worked and had that cigarette. It got me closer to my goal of stopping my mental breakdown. I did not judge myself for having that cigarette either since it helped me to feel better.

WHY IT'S LEGIT: Like I mentioned, you will get closer to your goals, and hopefully feel better in the moment.

ABOUT THERAPY THURSDAY: Join me every Thursday on my Instagram story (@domjoellehaikel) as I share with you a new tip/trick I learned in therapy over the years. If you can't catch the stories in time, look out for recaps like these each week!

***NOTE: AHEM!!! This skill is not condoning or justifying unhealthy behavior - so just keep that in mind before you decide that running over someone with your car or whatever is "doing what works." NOT CUTE.

Please read my disclaimer HERE.