Modern Meditation Classes: Stress Relief or Whitewashed, LA Bullshit? #TrickOrTreatment

 I am the only one in LA who has ever taken a photo like this. 

I am the only one in LA who has ever taken a photo like this. 

Welcome back to one of my favorite blog segments; Trick or Treatment! The series where I test out cliche, wellness trends to see if they will make my mental illness journey less of a fucking mess.  You can read the previous #TT right HERE if you’re new to my blog or missed my last installment. This particular Trick or Treatment is part of my experience at Wellness Week LA; a health/lifestyle event from June 3rd-June 10th. Ticket holders are matched with various fitness, nutritional, and self-care activities in the city, depending on their interests. If you'd like more information on WWLA, or the business I mention below, click their names for more!

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Unplug Meditation (West Hollywood) – The whole damn place smells like that one perfect friend who wears straw hats, cries in Erewhon, and somehow found a rent-controlled midcentury in the hills. And while I don’t think I went more than two breaths without intrusive thoughts about the woman to my right gulping her tea like baby fucking beluga inhaling her krill, the experience, the staff, the atmosphere–all wonderful. Did I mention, because it's a no-phone-zone, they charge your electronics behind the counter? Don't speak to me unless you're living in 3018. The staff also invites you to sample essential oils and pick a crystal to bring in to enhance your meditation experience. Even though I don’t incorporate crystals into my treatment plan, I still own a bunch, think they’re beautiful, and thought this was worth mentioning because its a nice touch. So, the big question is – is this trendy, WeHo meditation circle just a contrived, crock-pot of crazies? Trick or freaking treatment? 

Verdict: It’s a (supplemental) treatment. It’s nothing I want to replace my current wellness plan of therapy and meds with, but I would bring it into the mix. It became clear to me that this treatment that like many traditional options takes a good chunk of time and patience to see results. While I experienced benefits like relaxation, the sensation of being in a safe place, positive feelings, and subsequent motivation, I am confident I didn’t get the max effects of this practice because my zen skills are not fully developed. If I were to dedicate myself to this practice like I’ve committed myself to therapy and psychiatry, I bet I’d experience the benefits in which wellness woo-girls rave. Maybe if I’d just taken my Ritalin beforehand, I might have been able to focus better. TBD.

Stay tuned for my next #WellnessWeekLA-themed Trick or Treatment: Stretching! I’ll be getting my body contorted into awkward positions by a stranger in the name of mental wellness. You can also follow my WWLA experience on my Instagram story right HERE. 

By the way - if meditation has affected you, do me a flavor and comment below or send me a message. Did you have as much trouble as I did focusing when you first started? Or am I just a poor boy, and nobody loves me? What do I do to improve my focus? HALP.

*Just FYI - my attendance at Wellness Week LA is sponsored. Huge thank you to WWLA!