Self-Care Tarot July 2018: Are You a Doormat? Read This

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Happy July! How are you, habibi? Have you brushed your teeth yet? Did you drink any water? Have you left the house today? If not, put this on pause while you go do those things. I'll be here when you get back, I prom. If you're good to go, let's get into it. You're being asked to perform a special kind of self-care this summer that goes beyond SPF and smoothies. Our resident tarot reader Cassandra Snow dives into the importance of setting boundaries so you don't end up trampled like a shoe-squished Skittle on the Santa Monica Pier. Check the reading below to see what the hell I'm talking about. And, if you missed last months Self-Care Tarot, click HERE to read. 

-Dom

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"The Seven of Wands came practically screaming out of my tarot deck when I started shuffling for this month’s column. I stuffed it back in, kept shuffling, and when I pulled the card--there it was again. This is one of my least favorite cards in the tarot deck, truth be told. This card urges us to stand up for ourselves and what we believe in. In a global sense, this is a time to fight for the things we believe in, and I’m usually pretty good at that. That messages obviously still stands. There is a LOT going on, and we want to be on the right side of history (whatever that means to us). Most of us are fired up for those fights though. We almost don’t need that message. We know to stay alert and stay active now more than ever. 

What we might be less prepared to do is stand up for ourselves in our personal or medical lives, which is also a core message of the Seven of Wands. Personally, I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, and while I can overcome that to march in the street, I am often unable to tell my doctor when meds aren’t working or enforce boundaries with certain family members. Regardless of your own mental illness, your capacity for making your needs known and enforcing that will be tested this month. A Cancer sun makes us emotional, crabby, and protective but there are people in our lives who push our buttons or situations we can’t just escape from. The Seven of Wands urges us to be adults and have these hard conversations. It wants us to put our needs first in those relationships and not allow people to be walked on. 

The silly thing about putting up boundaries is that most of the time the offending party had no idea they were doing anything wrong. It's terrifying to say “hey, I actually don’t want alcohol in the house since I’m trying to stay sober” or “That phrase you use is really triggering for me, do you mind stopping?” Nine times out of ten though the person in question will immediately apologize and acquiesce. While we need to put up and enforce boundaries for obvious reasons and as part of our ongoing treatment plans this month, it’s important to remember the payoff of standing up for yourself. It gets easier every time, and at some point, we’re able to sit back, relax, and know we can trust our support system. Don’t let your fear of confrontation overwhelm the goal right now, because coming to a place of peace is and should be your priority.

Unfortunately, some people will be resistant to change or shows of “force” from you. Think about your long-term treatment and healing goals if that does come up this month. You may need some substantial space from those people or situations, or you may just need to find a way to communicate so that they understand. If all else fails, call on the people you know you can trust and ask them to help you. We are not wading through life alone, and it’s important to recognize when additional support is needed."

-Cassandra Snow
 

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For more on Cassandra, head over to her page right HERE.